Every day I read articles of the lowest quality and posts to make my nipples stiffen, and not for pleasure (to stay on topic, that is), and let's just say that I choose to make my so-called clusters of mine (have you ever noticed that certain somewhat scattered, 2-winged clusters have a certain shape?)... but not today. Today I want to reflect on a post that gave me reflux despite the fact that I don't suffer from it at all. A post where you criticise other people's minnows, but the first thing you notice is precisely the the author's big tits. And I would like to survey the 545 likes received on Facebook by Ms. Fabiola Baldanza to see how many have: a) read the content of the post; b) understood the content of the post.
At the end of my investigation, then, I would drop by to discuss with the Ministry of Education because I have a few things to ask. To begin with, why can't a person with a university degree write with acceptable grammar? Why is it that a person who has finished all the years of compulsory schooling cannot express a concept coherently? How is it possible that, after years of study, and in a western country where education is free thanks to the libraries that are present throughout the country, one can write such a post?
I ask because on the profile of the lady with the beautiful big tits strictly #nofilter it says:
- attended the Leonardo Da Vinci scientific high school in Agrigento;
- studied Biological Sciences at the University of Palermo;
- studied at the University of Florence (we do not know what);
- studied at FISAR Florence;
- studied cellar technician and vineyard management and pruning technician for IFOA (where my partner used to teach, by the way);
- attended IED Florence (cool, I would have liked that too!).
So it seems that the lady has a superlative educational career (two degrees, a sommelier diploma, a diploma in some area of design and a diploma as a professional pruner etc.).
It therefore escapes me how someone so studious can throw away all the sacrifices made - financial, time and quality of life - to get diplomas, degrees and certifications by insinuating that - and I quote literally - "being wine and vineyard experts without ever having held a shear in their hands, received wasp stings, suffered the cold in January, having run because a hose would come unhooked, [...] taking holidays every summer...".
Oops, that's a good one: either you get stung by wasps while holding shears or you have no right to talk about wine. So this lady spits on her FISAR diploma, to name but one. I don't know what she graduated in at the University of Florence, maybe viticulture and oenology? In any case, it doesn't matter... a bunch (always that scattered, two-winged bunch we were talking about earlier heh)!
Dear big-boobed Ms Fabiola, who was so keen to peep in to point out how she too could get hundreds - thousands - of likes if only she chose this communicative approach on her profile, I now invite you to have three thoughts with me.
Big tits, wine and ignorance/1: the dress code does not like it!
I wrote just a few days ago this article on the sommelier uniform and dress code following the fuss between FIS and American student Nicole Hesslink over the skirt of her (former) association's official uniform.
Are we really talking about boobs in the western world of 2022? Really? I don't like 'coming out of the boobies' and I only have a third, certainly not the jaw-dropping boobs of the lady or many wine influencers. I don't like communication that uses commodification of the body. So what? Does that entitle me to mock my colleagues who have made it a workhorse? Also no. If my product is not aligned with that communication I simply do not involve them in my marketing, end of story.
And then come on, every environment has its dress code. And even a plunging neckline is a dress code in a certain environment. The dress code must be aligned with the place, whatever that may be. A stupid example? In a disco, is a (scantily) dressed sexy girl more welcome and more unnoticed, or one who sports a high-necked wool jumper? And in certain discos/clubs, isn't Champagne literally flowing? I am also talking about very very expensive bottles.
(It's not like there are only shabby places serving watered-down drinks in the world...)
I'm not aware that the aforementioned Wine Influencers that Ms Fabiola refers to in another post as #winezoccole show up with these minnows outside in the Chamber of Deputies, right? (This comparison arises because I am currently taking care of the entire marketing part of the election campaign of an important Member of Parliament and I am practically alienated from the world of wine...)
It makes my eyes bleed that Miss Wine Spice Girl calls herself a blogger with a site full of marquees, when a blogger is supposed to be a free columnist and not a content creator. However, India Donisi (@winespicegirl) has a bachelor's degree in Italian culture, a master's degree in publishing and a second degree in oenology, plus a WSET 3. In short, in my book, she has the qualifications to talk about wine... it's her choice whether to do it irreverently or classically.
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Big tits, wine and ignorance/2: marketing, this stranger!
Without going into the details of what marketing is and in particular the product marketingI would now like to make a small reflection on the wine communication. Let us start with a fundamental concept: there is no wine, there is no winery/company and there is no consumer. In Italy alone, there are 300,000 companies producing wine and more than a million labels produced. Italian and foreign wine consumers differ not only socio-demographically, but also and above all in terms of wine culture. If all these companies were to target the same type of consumer with all their labels, as one can easily guess, they would go bankrupt very quickly as there would be no room for everyone and the educated consumer is, in fact, a niche.
When I read Ms Fabiola's post I immediately wrote to two friends, Elisa Gubellini e Simona Geriwho are in charge of promoting wine, which I, for example, do not do. I teach wine marketing (the last courses I did were in collaboration with the Veneto Region between May and June) because I do not like being the centre of attention (the same old story!). I chose them because I find them both good at content marketing and, having two very different target audiences, they are two perfect case studies for this article. I would like to say that both are correct and exquisite people, as well as very knowledgeable about wine.
Big tits, wine marketing and target audience: Elisa Gubellini
Elisa Gubellini is apparently very far from me. She fascist, I radical. She no vax, I tri-dosed in hopeful anticipation of the fourth. She pro-chest, I only have one low-cut dress my husband gave me on Valentine's Day the first year we met and I think I wore it no more than twice. She wears heels and sexy shoes, I love Birkenstocks in the summer and Dr Martens in the winter. And I could go on for a very, very long time....
Yet I value Elisa even with our differences. Elisa doesn't give a half a cluster what others think, she has built her business and is good at it. Where Mrs Fabiola only sees two tits on show, I see a profession of hostesses and wine models, all graduated sommeliers, who offer themselves for events at wineries. I don't know about you, Mrs Fabiola, but at Vinitaly I see many beautiful, more or less bare-chested hotties who don't know how to make an O with a goblet in their hand, and when I ask them questions like "when was it foul-mouthed?" they look at me as if I had asked about the vomit of their friend's son the night before. But there are hotties who are also sommeliers at events! Because I don't know about you, but I cellars that do reception at events choose women and men of unpleasant appearance have never seen any. Just as I rarely see ugly people advertising products in newspapers and on television.
Does Elisa Gubellini have a communication style that is not mine? Of course. Am I Elisa's target audience? Absolutely not. Elisa Gubellini has the right communication style for her target audience which - hear hear - is a wider target audience than mine. Does this mean that Elisa's communication is better or more effective than mine? No. Does it mean that my communication is better or more effective than Elisa's? No.
Big tits, wine marketing and target audience: Simona Geri
I can't tell if Simona Geri has big tits, I've never seen them (super Simo, get your tits out, come on! 😄). I can't tell if she votes left or right because she doesn't talk politics and I don't know if she's vaccinated. Frankly, I don't even really care. For sure Simona wears heels that I didn't even wear on my wedding day, she has some tattoos - which I don't particularly like - and she is a mother, which is another thing far from me.
Each person has points of contact and points of distance and diversity, for intelligent people like me, Elisa and Simona, is an asset, not a limitation. We are certainly three women sommeliers who first invented and then built their own business. Not chicharrones nowadays (however, if you have some chicharrones or pork to send me, write me an e-mail, I don't just taste wine and I am a great pork lover).
Simona makes beautiful videos, funny reels and posts with her rarely seen photos. Does this mean that a post by Simona is better or more effective than one by Elisa? No. They are two pieces of advertising content aimed at two different targets and both are effective within their target audience. It means that if you are a winery and you want to promote your brand or your particular label, think about your ideal customer, draw a sketch and ask yourself: is it Simona's target audience or Elisa's target audience? Then work with one of them. Or neither of them. If you work with both you are wasting money, because differentiation is important, but differentiating the media does not mean intercepting a media outside your target. Unless you have a lot of money to - literally - throw away. But that's another matter...
In the two photos I have chosen of both you see a different communication of a Champagne AOC wine. To me they both look beautiful and well prepared.
Big tits, wine and ignorance/3: they are choices, respect them!
You might not believe it, Ms Fabiola, but I don't give a hoot about being a cellarer, harvesting, owning a winery and singing company! As much as I adore the film 'A Very Good Year', if a distant uncle leaves me a chateau in Provence with an attached vineyard, I'll manage it and go on holiday there... unlike her, even in August. Similarly, even if I am a sommelier, I am not interested in serving wine. I am a bookworm and feel uncomfortable going around the tables serving people. I like tasting wine and telling people about it, especially from an educational point of view. I don't know if you dreamed of being a cellarer as a child, but I know for sure that I dreamed of being a writer and applied myself to become one.
Every human being has talents, limitations and aptitudes and should follow his or her inclinations. I am deeply convinced that if an individual studies what he is passionate about and then makes it into a job, he will study with pleasure and do an excellent job.
Some people like to taste wine.
Some people like to harvest (I don't).
Some people like to teach wine.
Some people like to study wine.
Some people like to write about wine.
Some people like to make wine.
Some people like being a wine entrepreneur.
Some people like to sell wine.
Some people like to communicate wine.
Some people like to design and/or make wine products.
Every job is sacred and should be respected if done with competence, dignity and passion.
Finally, I would like to mention that not everyone can physically afford to harvest: the excessive heat and sun can be a problem for some diseases or for those who - like me - have very low blood pressure.
So sometimes they are not even free choices.
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Ms Fabiola, I am sorry to contradict you, but having experience of something without having studied it gives no guarantee of knowing how to do it. You too are a cellarer, but you started from a professional course held by a famous and nationally recognised body such as IFOA. She may have done 1, 10 or 50 vintages. An example? Do you find the elderly winegrower who is happy if he harvests everything and does not even know what bunch thinning is, or the young man who has studied, who does thinning when needed and carefully chooses only the healthiest bunches of grapes, more 'knowledgeable about wine, vines and harvesting' (whatever they mean to you)?
One thing is for sure: 'the part "e i Minni un su istruzione"' I did not understand, could you be so kind as to translate it for me?
I could tell you about yet another winery that wanted to pay me to talk about their wines and I replied that I don't accept money to talk about wine and I only talk about a wine if I like it. I told them that they could send me the wines or I could go to the winery and I would be happy to write a completely free report with tastings (like the many you find here on my wine blog) if I liked the wines... and they never replied. This happens several times a month.
What does it mean? It means that for some wineries I am not their ideal communicator and consequently my target group is not ideal for them either. But for example Elisa or Simona may - perhaps - be. It depends.
And since Mrs Fabiola Baldanza said that the problem is not having 'minne' (i.e. big tits), come out without fear, dear colleagues.
At worst, you will be stung by a wasp while sunbathing next summer and it will be all wine experience gained for you.
Perhaps you even have the qualifications to 'be a wine expert' since your sommelier diploma from AIS, FISAR or any association and/or your degree in Oenology and Viticulture or Enogastronomic Sciences (in my case) for the lady is not as qualifying as a wasp bite.
P.S. Sorry Mrs Fabiola, in this comment you write "I also do not harvest. I am a cellarman, literally it is said that I am at the grape reception ... ". So did these wasps sting him or not?
P.P.S. I took the liberty of leaving the name of fellow sommelier Giacomo Gironi because on 23 January 2018 I published this article with the decalogue of the perfect sommelier!